You Volunteered?

Last Sunday Jackson had a piece of paper in his hand from primary. It said he was supposed to give a . . . TALK. When I saw it I thought, "NOOOO." Jackson is always, always coming home with these pieces of paper, for the scripture or for the prayers. I've felt so lucky that he hasn't had to give a TALK.

He told me that he volunteered, VOLUNTEERED, to give a talk. "They asked who wanted to give one and I just raised my hand." He said it so casually. Granted, yes, it is just a primary talk, it has to be like, a paragraph, but you don't understand. Not only do I have irrational fears about speaking in public, but I have a history, and so does Tyler, and it involves public speaking, in primary. Let me explain.

I think I was five years old. I had to give a talk. I still remember how it was about Joseph Smith's leg (and how it was hurt). My mom helped me all week. We went over and over the talk. I had pictures. They were awesome pictures. I even helped to color the pictures. I was prepared. I was more than prepared. My mom had no reason to worry. Then it was time to stand up and give my talk. I remember standing there and thinking. I do NOT want to do this, and I couldn't speak. I couldn't make a single word come out of my mouth. I remember thinking in my head, I don't have to be the one to say the talk. My mom can say it. She knows it better than I do. She'll even do a better job than I would. I just wanted to hold the pictures while she talked. So I just stood there, and I shook my head no. My mom came up and tried to get me to do it. I just kept shaking my head. There was nothing in the world that was going to make me speak in front of those kids. NOTHING. So then my mom gave my talk for me, and I held the pictures. As soon as she started speaking I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I was even happy. My mom felt like a failure. For years she wondered what she did wrong. It was only recently that we had talked about what happened, and how I told her that I just didn't want to do it. She could do it better, and she felt a little better. She understands me now anyway.

Moving onto Tyler and his first (or one of them) primary speaking experience. I'm not exactly sure if he was in a primary program, or if he was giving a talk, whatever the situation I believe he was about 5. He had his part memorized, and he had a picture to go with it. When he got up there, he did NOT want to say his part. There was no way anyone could make him. So his mom said it for him, while he turned around around and put his back to everyone, while holding his picture. But not only was he holding his picture. He was holding it upside down, ON PURPOSE.

So when Jackson showed me his paper, I thought, "And it's all coming back to bite me in the, (well you know where)." But apparently Jackson is a happy child and doesn't mind speaking in front of people. He's the kind of kid who volunteers. Sometimes I can't believe he's related to us. And he did a great job. My favorite phrases of his paragraph long talk included words such as, "Heavenly Fada, "and "live togeda foweva." I'm so proud of him.