Notes from the Life of a Dysfunctional Housewife: December 2008

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Merry (Late) Christmas!

I have been in pajamas since Thursday and on the BRAT diet since Friday. We all had a great Christmas, even though Hayden got sick Christmas Eve, and Jackson got sick Christmas night. I followed on Friday and I'm pretty sure Tyler is catching all of our "fun" . . . right now. (Sorry to everyone at my Grandma's house Christmas Eve.) The boys still had a great Christmas and did not disappoint with their reactions. More pictures to come (for the Grandparents) as this is all I can manage for today. And now I'm going back to bed. Peace out.

Monday, December 15, 2008

It Snowed

It snowed this weekend, and we hibernated. What better thing to do when you're hibernating than decorate a gingerbread house?

In every single picture I took, Hayden was eating something off of the house and Jackson was stacking his "stacking cups." They put every piece of candy on all by themselves. Hayden ate half of the candy though. Next year we'll get two gingerbread houses so Jackson won't be upset that there are not more gumballs to put on the other half of the roof.

Did I mention it snowed? It's snowing right now actually and the boys love it. They wanted to make it snow inside, and they did.

Here they are making snow out of packing peanuts. And they had a blast. Did I also mention their new favorite thing? If you didn't notice the two very large mostly naked boys in the pictures, let me enlighten you on the new happenings of our household. My boys love to run around "nakie". They love love love it. It is usually just after dinner. (Today they ran around "nakie" all morning, so I guess it's happening more frequently.) Hayden asks to be "nakie" which means to take off all his clothes (besides his diaper) and run, jump, and go absolutely crazy all over the house. If Hayden has his clothes off, Jackson takes his clothes off, except for his underwear, and sometimes his socks, and they both run up and down the halls, jump on the couches, and just go particularly nuts. I don't know why they want to do this in the middle of winter though. I am freezing with sweatshirts and blankets on. But they seem to enjoy this and since we haven't been spending much time running around outside, I guess it's the next best thing. Needless to say I now have a lot of pictures of then half naked.

I hope you'll take me seriously now when I tell you the winter is driving us all crazy.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Why You Should Never Give a 32 Year Old Man A Dart Gun

Hayden got him back though. Not 1, not 2, but 3 times.

Jackson tried to get him back too.

Babble, babble...Congratulations!

I had to restore my computer back to the ORIGINAL FACTORY SETTINGS. Uuuuuuuuugh. Luckily, it is now working better than ever and I did have all my documents and pictures backed up. Tyler and I have learned from buying 3 computers during our married life that our computers like to FREAK OUT on us and just stop functioning to the point that they cost less to replace than to fix, which is hopefully

UNLIKE

my WASHING MACHINE which is currently not working. Please please please be able to be repaired fairly easily. Please be less expensive than buying a new one. The guy is coming on Wednesday. So I'm praying that Jackson has enough pants and underwear to last him until then. I really really don't want to go to a laundry mat. but I might have to because I'm getting to the point that that might be way faster than doing laundry ALL DAY. I'm really having fun with emphasizing things in ALL CAPS and making them LARGE today. I should turn them different colors too.

I think I'll do just that to emphasize that RIGHT NOW husband is in his first grueling all day job interview to be an administrator for the Jordan School District. Hopefully he's doing well. I'm sure he is. We played interviewer interviewee last night and he'll do fine. I guess I am biased though. But since this really is his personal legend (I'm sure of it) He'll do great.

And, Congratulations to one of my best friends who emailed me AND called me a couple of days ago, but I didn't have email and I didn't get back to her until today and I'm trying to make up for that by leaving you messages on your phone and congratulating you on my blog, but I won't say your name because one time someone else I know had their "announcement" announced by their friend on their friend's blog without permission and I don't want to do that directly, so indirectly I'm saying CONGRATULATIONS!

The end (of my babbling and run on sentences for the day).

Monday, December 01, 2008

This weekend we kept busy. Friday we saw this:

Madagascar 2, and can I just say...I loved it. I don't know if I was just in a good mood or what. I remember that I did not like the first one, at all, except for the "I like to move it move it" part, which my boys do exceptionally well. But I really enjoyed myself, even though I was sitting in the front row, which is something I will do again, especially if Hayden is with me. Right at the 45 minute mark he gets up and runs around in circles. It was fine until he started throwing an empty popcorn bucket at the screen, other than that, it was great. I loved it and they loved it.

Then Saturday we went here:

I had never taken the boys to temple square before, and I thought they would love it, but apparently they are like their dad, and mom a little, because they didn't love it that much. There were so many people! And it was completely orange. All I remember is orange, orange everywhere. I ran over at least 4 poeple's feet with my double stroller. They weren't moving, so I did what I had to do, Ok? Don't judge me. It wasn't intentional, not really.

But it was nice for the boys to see it. If we go again it will not be on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, or a Saturday at all. (But thanks mom and dad! We loved being with you! :) )

And then I got these:

And my feet are in love. SLC half marathon, I'll be ready.

It was a good weekend. How was yours?

Jackson"s Quote Wall of Fame

1.10 "Mom! I figured it out! White is the same color as milk and snow!"
10.27.09 - "Mom, why do you do what you do-ed when you did, (pause) what you did?" (Translation - Why do you always do that?)
7.23.09 - When we were in Michigan Grandma Jones asked about the talk I gave on Sunday. She said, "Shelly what was your talk on?" Without looking up from his dinner Jackson said, "It was on a piece of paper."
"Ugh, I am fwustwated! You guys stop laughing at me." (Talking to me and Ty)
"Mom, what happens if we don't have arms?"
"Mom, what happens if we don't have lips?"
"Mom, what happens if we don't have uvulas?"
"Mom, I have an infection in my throat. It's behind my uvula."
Whenever Hayden is being reprimanded or sent to time out Jackson asks, "Mom, are you happy at me?" or he says, "Mom, I am a good boy."
"Daddy, I'm going to get you two earings and a nice dress because you are a girl."
While crying Jackson said, "Mom, I have tears coming out. I'm just going to let them fall, they will just dry."
"Mom, did I pop out of your belly button?"
"Mommy, did you know Santa loves me?"
After I put Jackson to bed he came out and said, "Mom. Stop making noises! I can't sleep. No spraying (I had been pre-treating laundry with shout) or talking, or wrestling, or just, like, playing with dad." And then he huffed back to his room.
"Ow, Mom! I hurt my leg. Now I won't be so stinkin cute!"
"Dad, I want you to read me stories. You big fat pig!"
Jackson: "Mom, I'm going to lick you." Me: "Do NOT lick me." Jackson: "Do you want me to put a candy corn up your nose?" (As if those two things are related. Don't lick, therefore, stick candy corns up my nose.)
"Daddy sits in dog poo and does his homework. HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE"
(While we were driving in the car) Mom! I have to go potty! Can I pee on the car?
I'm just a leeeeeeeetle bit mad, not a lot mad, just a leeeeeeeeetle bit.
"The Holy Ghost has three holes."
"No! Don't kill the fly! He doesn't want to be killed! He wants to be alive!" Me: "Jackson, I'm going to kill the fly. It's in my house and they're gross." Jackson: "I will just squish the spiders." Me: "If you get to squish the spiders, I get to kill the flies." Jackson: "Ok."
Me: "Jackson, I love you." Jackson: "You're welcome. I love you too."
Jackson: "Is your tooth all gone?' Me: "Yes." (I had to get a tooth pulled) Jackson:"I will just be a Dentist so that I can just put your tooth back in for you." (Won't that be the greatest day of my life, when my son becomes a dentist? Then he can really help me when I'm old and all my teeth have even more major problems.)
Jackson: "I love you now Mommy, but I didn't love you at the store."
Me: "Tell you father not to be ridiculous." Jackson: "Don't be a dickless."
Jackson came down the hall with a blanket tied around him like a cape. "Mom, I have a cape! Will you help me fly?" Two minutes later, "Mom! I need help!" (He still wasn't flying.)
"I need blue floss so my teeth won't fall out."
"I ate all my sugary junk."
Almost every night when Jackson is going to bed he stalls by asking, "Mom can I watch a show with you? Can I watch Dancing Through The Stars?"
"Can I have my own Marshmallow Maybes?" ( I have told him a thousand times that it is "Mateys")
Grandpa Jones came over and saw our new couches. Jackson informed him that, "Your bum goes here!" and pointed to a spot on the couch.
While looking at himself in the mirror Jackson said, "You are my best friend."
As we were reading a book about the Great Barrier Reef by Australia Jackson said, "You go there with Daddy tomorrow and Grandma Jones will watch me." (Don't I wish?)
While pointing the remote at Ty: "I turned you into a TV!"
After I spiked Jackson's hair he looked into the mirror and said, "I look like a porcupine!"
Phrases Jackson says every day: "Would that be sound good?" and "What color is the (his) poo?"
While walking from our car to our house, a dog was running around on the grass and started running toward Jackson. He screamed the loudest high-pitch scream ever uttered by a child and then yelled, "Mommy, Mommy!" while running to me. After we made it into the house Jackson said (while crying), "I'm scared of dogs. I just like cats."
Jackson: "You are a cookie. I'm going to eat you all gone." Shelly: "No you are a cookie" J: "(Gasp) I am not a cookie! I don't go in the oven!"
Jackson to Tyler: "Turn around, leave, and never come back."
"Awwwww, you are my precious mommy."
"You are a pineapple. I'm going to eat you up."
"I have to go on a mission at church. I have to leave. You can't come. Don't cry mom."
Jackson: "I want to go to the Trampolines (Jump On It)!" Me: "We'll go when you're potty trained." J: "I don't want my potty train!"
"Good job mom. You good job jobber. You're a great job." (Apparently I've been emphasizing "good job" lately.)
"I'm a sad little monkey. I need my grandma."
Jackson: "On Christmas we will celebrate Jesus's Birthday and he will need a party hat."
(Jackson was talking about the Book, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas") Jackson: "And the Grinch tried to steal their stuff." Me: "We don't steal things, do we?" Jackson: "Do we play nicely with the Grinch?"
(Jackson was hopping on the floor like a frog instead of eating dinner) Me: "Eat your food frog!" Jackson: "Eat your mommy! Ribbit."
"You've got to be kidding me guys!"
"Do dogs eat dog poo?"
Me: Do you want a party with Grandma and Grandpa? Jackson: No I want to party with Santa.

Hayden is Talking

2.4.11 "He is being a goofpants." (talking about Jackson)
2.4.11 "He is being a slow coach." (Also talking about Jackson - and his ability to get ready for bed.)
12.8.10 "Mom, did you go to a baby shower?" Me: "Yes." H: "Did you put the baby in the shower?!"
6.10 "Mom, it is indescribable because it's not describable."
Hayden: "Mom, what are you reading?" Me: "Fablehaven." Hayden: GASP "Like me?" Me: "What do you mean?" Hayden: "FableHAYDEN!"
1.10 Me: "Hayden your brother is hyper!" Hayden: "Is he going to go to hyperspace?"
When I put Hayden down for a nap I always tell him not to break the rules (which are basically no getting out of bed). The other day he came out of his room after taking a nap and said, "Mom. I fixed the rules. They aren't broke." (aka - he went right to sleep and didn't get out of bed.)
8.16.09 "Mom, are you done being a cranky pants?:
When Hayden was mad at me he said, "AAAAAH! I want to BONK you on de HEAD!" And he did.
Mommy: "Hayden, where do we go pee pee?" Hayden: "On . . . the . . . FLOOR! Hahahahaha."
"It stinks like a horse!"
"What's up, sir?"
"I have a question for you! What is happening?"
"Mom, can I be nakie for a minute?"
"Mom, sing Alladin" (I'm translating) Me: "You sing Alladin" (A whole new world) Hayden: "Ok. Go Laddi, Go Laddi, Go Laddi."
Tonight Jackson found the big dipper in the sky and said, "Look! The big dipper!" To which Hayden said, "Star! No Dip!"
"More Kistal (Crystal) Light!" I'm trying to replace my Diet Dr. Pepper with something, and apparently he's caught on to what it is.
"No sceeeming (screaming) Hyrum! (Those of you in my ward might know who he was yelling this at.)
Belly Button = "Buddy Button"
Hayden came with me to practice the organ. He stood up on the bench ( which he knows he is not suppossed to do) Then, with a huge smile on his face, he said, "Naughty!"
Jackson had to go potty and I told him to show Hayden how to do it. He was standing up and when he started to go pee pee Hayden said the most enthusiastic, "Oh Wow!" I've ever heard him say.