Why am I so stupid?

I hate salesman! I hate salespeople! I hate that I've lost all of my assertiveness, and then if I am assertive I am extremely rude. Why am I so dumb?

Yesterday I was sitting in the park, minding my own business and watching my boys play on the playground when this nice looking lady starts talking to me about my cute boys and her cute boys and I was thinking, "Why is she being so friendly, and why won't she stop talking to me? I mean, we're at a park. Is she new here? Does she not have any friends? huh. She seems normal enough. Anyways then as most of my conversations go I get immediately distracted by my kids and walk off. Then as I'm getting ready to leave, she says to me, "You've been so nice and so friendly. I am working on getting my car for Mary Kay. If I give you a gift certificate for free product, would you let me give you a facial or a makeover or something?" Ohhhhhhhhh. It all makes sense now, and of course I pause for a second and because I can't say no without being extremely rude, I say, "Uh, ok." which is followed by,

"Let me get your phone number."

"Uhhhh, ok."

And then I gave her my phone number! I gave a complete stranger who could be a lunatic my phone number and now she can google me and find my address and everything. And then she calls today to invite me to a Mary Kay girls night out. I am a pushover. (But I do like makeup, so..... :)

AND THEN

Today this man knocks on my door, and I knew he was a salesman, but I opened it anyway. It's usually very easy to say no to people who knock on my door. You know, I feel strong in my own home, my own domain, or something like that, but he was doing something that tempted me. He asked if he could clean one the carpet in one room of my house....for free. I'm like,

"What? For free? What do you get out of it?"

"Well," he says, "Have you heard of a Kirby?"

"No."

"Well, all I ask is that if you like what our Kirby does you tell all your friends and family and give us word of mouth advertising. It will help me with my scholarship."

"That's it? How does that help you?"

"Well if you agree to make an appointment with me I get 25 dollars, and because I've made 12 appointments today I'll get 50."

"And you'll clean my carpet?"

"Yes."

"Ok."

So the guy comes back with this fabulous Kirby and proceeds to give me an hour presentation about how ineffective my vacuum is and how amazing his is (and it was actually) and how dust mites live in my mattresses and they're pooping everywhere and we're breathing it all in, which is much worse then putting their poop in water and drinking it. Then he asks, "Do you have pets?"

"No."

"Oh. Well do you have asthma?

"No."

"Do you or your kids have allergies?

"No."

"Well have your kids ever woke up with a runny nose?"

"Uhhh, well yeah."

"Well they have allergies to the dust mites and all their poop. You need this. It will vacuum it out of 6 inches of your mattress, blah blah blah."

I'm just sitting there like, are you kidding me? My kids wake up occasionally with a runny nose when they have a cold! And that is occasionally! Uggh, get out of my house.

And then he proceeds to talk about the price and how it can be as little as 3 dollars a day. The thing costs about 2500 dollars, but if I get it today, the first time I've heard about it, they can lower it to 1500. 1500! For a freakin vacuum/carpet shampooer/about 10 other things actually, but how can someone knock on my door and just because they offer to do something for free and demonstrate something for me, they feel they can come into my house and make me feel guilty for not spending 1500 dollars on a vacuum so my kids don't inhale dust mite poo? How do people live with themselves? How can you really feel comfortable doing that? Especially after I explain to them my financial situation. (Which I should not have to do! Who are these people?!) My husband is in school full time, we are living off our savings and student loans, FOR A YEAR, I have no extra money and have no desire to have any extra debt.

"But why would you let your kids inhale dust mite poo?" They cry. "It pays for itself! If you think about the cost of replacing your torn up dirty carpet, carpet cleaning, the cost of replacing your burnt out vacuums, the cost of getting new mattresses, it's so much more expensive."

But I don't think about that cost. Those are things I expect to pay for and I feel I can afford. I cannot afford a 1500-2500 dollar vacuum. Geez people! And all the dust mite poo I'm going to inhale tonight when I sleep isn't going to affect me at all, just like it hasn't for the past 27 years.

(Just to make it perfectly clear, I did not buy the vacuum. I did make the guys clean my living room carpets for free. I felt good about that because they seriously made me feel guilty for not buying their stupid Kirby! You better believe a no soliciting sign is going on my door TOMORROW.)