Stupid Cricket

My boys and I had a life and death experience today involving a cricket, of all things. I have been at my mom's house for the past two days because they are touring somewhere, I just know they are going to the BYU game on Saturday, and I think it's in Oklahoma, anyways I don't really know where they are, but I have been taking care of the house and driving my little brother and sister around everywhere. Today, while they were at school, me and my boys were playing outside in the back yard. My parents have a walk out basement and they have wooden steps that lead up to the back yard. Well there was this huge cricket on the top stair - huge, like 2 inches long. I told Jackson to walk up the steps with me and look at this cricket. We were on the 3rd from the top stair and I squated down on the step. I was holding Hayden on my right side and Jackson was standing on my left. He was all excited to see the cricket, and then all of the sudden he really saw it. His face turned to absolute horror. He screamed and yelled, "MOMMY!" and then proceeded to jump, as hard and as fast as he could, into my left arm. Now, I had a 25 lb baby on one side, and then I was broadsided by a 35.5 pound child on the other. You can imagine my horror as struggled to keep my balance, but I was falling backwards, and let me tell you, I would have landed on a HUGE sharp jagged rock and then we would have kept rolling in ivy and dirt and plants until we hit concrete and then my parent's house. Somehow I managed to force myself up with my extra 60 lb load. I guess I tried too hard because I overcompensated was now falling forward. I made it up one more stair and then gravity completely took over and we faceplanted into the grass. I fell on top of them because my hands were full and I only had my other leg to brace myself with. I didn't completely squish my kids. I tried to kneel with my other leg so that my large torso didn't knock the wind out of them. Anyways I kneeled right into the corner a wooden stair and it's pretty bruised and it kills. I've hit it against things all day long.

Anyway, there is the description of my .2 second cricket event. The moral of my story is - don't show your children oversized crickets. (You would think that the cricket jumped on Jackson or something - but no, he was perfectly still, and only moved when it was apparent that I was going to fall and squish him.)

p.s. We are all completely fine. Jackson just keeps saying "Sorry about the cricket mommy." And I am the wicked witch of a mother who told him that if he got out of his bed and didn't take a nap, I was going to go find a cricket. (it worked wonderfully)